3 weeks

Well it has been 3 weeks since I had the girls! I hope the rest of our time in the NICU goes by this fast. Iris has grown about an inch and put on a whole pound (well almost, 2 ounces shy). She has started having issues with acid reflux. After she eats she has an episode of bradicardia, turns blue but recovers. The reflux coming up her throat slows her heart rate down for a moment and she holds her breath. A few moments rubbing her feet or back and she turns pink again. Scary as hell, but just as long as she is quick to recover I can handle it. She keeps her eyes open for longer periods now and cries a little more. It's nice to see her acting like a baby :)

I am thankful for every day that I get to spend with Iris. She is so beautful! I'll post pics when she gets the feeding tube out and is off the nasal cannula.

Update

I just want to thank everyone for their sympathy. I also want to apologize to every one for not answering my phone. I will get back in contact with everyone as soon as I can handle it. I know many people have been concerned about us. This has been a rough time for our family. The hardest thing (that I didn't expect) is mourning Maya, then switching gears and celebrating Iris and her milestones. It's exhausting.

On Saturday the 17th Dustin and I decided to take Maya off her support and let her pass. I will spare every one the details of holding Maya and watching her take her last breath. It is nothing I would wish on anyone. Her Dr. was supportive in our decision. She said if Maya were her child she would do the same thing. Maya tolerated pneumonia, kidney disease. Then from all the fluid and pneumonia she ended up getting lung disease and a large cyst in her lung.

I have no more tears left to cry. My eyes are raw from rubbing them and my throat is sore.

The NICU here is set up in 3 levels...Level 3 is for the ones that need to most support, level 1 is for the ones getting ready to go home. Iris will be moved up to level 2 either tomorrow or the day after. She is growing and acting more and more like a baby. She cries when mommy puts her cold hands on her or plays with her feet. I love it! Iris is my reason for getting up and being strong. We will definately miss Maya and celebrate her short life.

Babies

Unfortunately we are going to lose baby Maya. This is why no one has heard from me in a while. She was born with diseased kidneys. She was transferred to UTMB in Galveston. We are very sad about Maya, she is so beautiful. We knew from the day she was born she wasn't going to make it very long. They can keep her on life support for a while but she is very very sick. The drs. said she wouldn't have made it to full term. We are so happy we got to meet her.
Iris is doing very well. She is being fed and breathing on her own with minimum supports. She is beautiful and looks just like her daddy! She has a spirit that seems to tell us she will do enough living for the both of them. Fingers crossed that Iris's time here is uneventful and speedy!

We love both of our girls very much!

Iris and Maya are here!!

Iris and Maya are here!! Monday, January 5th at 4:45 and 4:46 they were born. They are just so beautiful. Dustin and I (and grandmas and grandpas and aunts and uncles) are just so proud of them. When they get unhooked from all the machines we will post pictures! Right now it's hard to see past all that and see how pretty they are.

Iris came first, crying instantly. She has been holding about as steady as can be expected for being born at 29 weeks. She has been intibated, and slowly being weened off that.

Then came Maya. She didn't cry right away, but was breathing on her own for a while longer than Iris. She has had a few ups and downs. She still needs a little more assistance breathing and is having a harder time keeping her blood pressure up. All things that are to be expected from preemies. Maya is going to give the nurses hell!

To see them in person is amazing. Dustin and I are ready to take them home now. Unfortunately it's going to be a rollarcoaster next two and a half months! For now I am packing up my room. Tomorrow I should be able to go home for the first time in over a month.

7 months- happy new year.

Well much to our delight, after a rough weekend, we made it to the seven month mark. A fantastic milestone considering we were given a 50/50 chance for survival before we even made it out the first trimester. At this point viability outside the womb has been achieved (well 90% viablity) and long term issues start to diminish rapidly from this point on. We are aiming for 30 weeks...scary that's only two weeks away. The drs. obviously want to go 32-34, but will be satisfied with 30. Who knows what tomorrow holds...hopefully nothing.

I hope everyone has a happy and more importantly safe new year!! I will be here with my sparkeling grape juice, funny party hats, and hopefully a clear view to the east so I can see Kemah's fireworks display :)

P.S. I had to delete the last post...Waaaay to depressing. We will call that a hormonal moment...i am allowed to have those, right?

Eye Opener..

Today I have felt so sick since breakfast. I was finally able to fall back asleep at 11:15ish...about 11:45a.m. I hear alarms going off and the nurses frantic and shouting orders. Equipment is being wheeled around, doors slamming, Drs. rushing down the hall, the lady in the room next to me screaming...She was sent up from the ER earlier today because of preterm labor. She was 28 weeks along. You could hear the fear in her voice more than pain. The drs. finally got her sedated and sent her down to the OR for an emergency C-Section. I haven't heard from my nurse how things are going. I just can't help but to feel her panic. No one told her that this was going to happen. I already know that my twins are going to be delivered very premature. I have had time to prepare, I thought. But my reaction to her plight has made me realize that I am not. How do you mentally get ready for what is going to be an emergency...I know the delivery is going to be an emergency just like the lady next door. Lots of chaos, no time for family to show up. It's safe to say I am at just not ready. I hope the lady next door and baby are doing very well. When all settles down I'm going downstairs to the NICU and hopefully her baby will be there, thriving.


*UPDATE-
Apparently the lady was a very very large lady 320+lbs...I only say that because when she came in for labor pains the nurses couldn't find a fetal heartrate and didn't think anything of it because of her size. So they ordered and ultrasound...before the u/s machine got here, she went to the bathroom and felt the baby's head. Here is when the chaos started. By the time everyone got here she had delivered. Right in the room next to me....The baby was dead. Had been dead for 2 or more weeks. She said she had NEVER felt him move. This just raises more questions...Did it not occur to her to something was wrong if she never had any fetal movement...Why did it take her more than 24 hours to go to the hospital when she was in labor...UGH!

*YET ANOTHER UPDATE-
I just got done with my ultrasound...the girls are growing just like they should be. Baby A is 2 lbs Baby B is 2.2 lbs. They both are long armed, legged, and have big feet. LoL The Dr. was very happy with their progress. If he is happy then I am happy.

Almost 3 weeks...

Well with my third week coming to an end soon. My mind has officially turned to mush. I have to read my books with a dictionary at hand. Embarrassing, but whatever!

The girls have found a new source of enjoyment....bladder hockey. Before they would just push on it. Now they have quite a bit of strength and kick, punch, or headbutt it. Fun for them, not so much for me. Occasionally they put their foot directly behind my belly button and push. It's creepy. They can invert it with every kick.

Ok, I am waiting on Dustin to get here...We are supposed to take a tour of NICU...sigh.